Friday, February 27, 2009
Don't you just love those who live in glass houses that are brave enough to throw stones? I figure that must take a pretty good sized set of cojones to that - a set that would put most men to shame.
We're seeing a lot of this super sized pretentiousness these days with the story of Nadya Suleman, a.k.a. Octomom.
Suleman made headlines around the world when she gave birth to eight living babies via Cesarean section on January 26, 2009. And along with the headlines came a strong villanization of this single, unemployed, mentally unstable mother of six turned fourteen.
It's not difficult for anyone to understand how the public can look at her and ponder exactly what she was thinking. After all, the woman already had six children and was living with her parents in a 1500 square foot home. Not to mention (again) that she is unemployed and her sole source of income is disability payments on three of her older children (and, according to her, student loans she was receiving while pursuing a degree with hopes to become a family counselor someday).
Then when we heard that she had underwent IVF treatments to have "just one more" to add to her large brood because of her desire to fill a void of being an only child, it's no wonder that folks started questioning her mental stability - which, of course, we learned from numerous sources, including her mother, was somewhat questionable.
Yeah, Yeah, I get all that. So does most everyone else.
But what I don't get is this: why the need for public outcry demanding that her children be removed from her care and placed into foster homes or up for adoption?
This is where I draw the line; where I say stop, shut up and sit down.
First and foremost, have those who screamed this option thought about who this would hurt? This would hurt 14 children, all of whom are fully related siblings, that would undoubtedly have to be split up. We already know their mother claims to feel a void related to childhood, do we really want to risk creating a similar void in these children that they have to fill in their own way when they reach adulthood?
Secondly, since when did it become okay in America to yank children from the parent just because they were considered poor by our standards? So many shout from the rooftops that she is, essentially, homeless and has no job. But, taking into consideration the current economic crisis America faces today wherein thousands have lost their jobs and had their homes foreclosed on, doesn't this apply to other parents? Do we take away those children too?
If the answer is no, then that leaves only one other reason why one would think these children should be removed from her care: bad decision making. That's it in a nutshell. Most cannot comprehend how anyone with good decision making skills could voluntarily undergo IVF to add even one more (much less one that turned into eight) to an already large family by today's standards.
That, in my opinion, is the pretentiousness that is getting on my last freakin' nerve!
Have we not all made bad choices in life? Bad choices that affected our children too? I'll step up to the plate and admit that I have. And I did things voluntarily. And, some would say, I'm not so mental stable at times myself (just ask my husband and children). Not to mention I made a couple of those decisions when I was young, broke, and single.
And I take comfort in knowing that I'm not alone. I can't think of anyone I know who hasn't been guilty of stupid mistakes - mistakes that affected their children as well as them. Do I think our children should be removed? No, of course not and neither would the vast majority of those screaming about removing OctoMom's children. After all, they've done their own stupid things that would place them in this category.
So why these children? Is it because it was a multiplied mistake?
Just because it was a careless decision on a grander scale is no better reason to cast judgment upon Suleman than we should upon our own selves. After all, if you open the door for the government to remove children based on one person's bad decision making, you best be ready for them to start making the decision for all of us. And that's just not another right I'm ready to hand to the government on a silver platter.
Sure, I think Suleman is nuts. I have to wonder what in the !#$% she was thinking even trying for one more. But give me one good reason why these children should be removed from her without using the words unemployed, single, or mental.
Oh, and yeah, you can use the words fourteen, six, eight and/or children...but keep in mind you're venturing into an area of allowing government to control the number of children we have. Before answering, be sure to ask an honest Chinese how they really feel about that.
Lastly, remember this, if you answer pertains to her thoughtlessness to her older children or the new babies by doing what she has done, you're taking a stroll down Bad Decisions Boulevard - be mindful of the broken glass from the homes scattered about.
At this point, I just feel sympathetic for the children. They are truly the innocent but will undoubtedly pay for their mother's mistake. And that breaks my heart.
In the meantime, I'll keep my pretentiousness in check lest I someday screw up (and I will) and wind up on the receiving end of such a vicious and vile reaction.