Would You Be The Good Wife?
Friday, September 25, 2009
For many years, Americans have watched as the wives of politicians have followed Tammy Wynette's advice to "Stand By Your Man."
If you listen closely, you'll hear a lot of judgment passed on these women: "I would drop him so fast it would make his head spin, " "There's no way I would stay with a man who cheated on me," "Is she that stupid?"
I always get a little irritated as such judgments being passed because I know very well that they are being said by those who have never walked a mile in cheated spouses shoes.
I have.
Many of you may not realize that Briian is actually my second husband. My first husband, whom I was married to for 8 years, was a cheater.
When I learned of his indiscretions, I had numerous people tell me to get rid of him then, to kick him to the curb, to divorce him and take everything he had.
I stayed married to him for another 6 years after his first affair (actually a double since he was seeing two at one time. As a matter of fact, it was girlfriend no. 1 that ratted out girlfriend no. 2 to me. Can you say "crazy"?).
So why would I stay with someone like that?
First, we had a child together. And suddenly I saw this little boy's world about to crumble, and I couldn't bear the pain that it would cause him.
Secondly, I was afraid. It's as plain as that. Once you have established a life with someone, it's scary to think about starting over alone.
Third, my pride and anger refused to allow another woman (or women, in my case) to win. No way, no how was she going to take my man. And I was willing to do whatever it took to make sure she didn't take him.
Yeah, that's one of those deals where you cut off your nose to spite your face.
And that is a driving force behind these "good wives." If I felt humiliated over the ordeal, as a nobody, can you imagine how magnified their humiliation was when your husband's affair is displayed on the cover of every newspaper and magazine and broadcast on news programs around the world?
I can. And I understand their motivation.
I also understand that, for the years they remain with their cheating husband, they will never trust him again. And, short of being Mother Teresa, they will not love him as they once did.
For all intents and purposes, when his affair was exposed publicly, the marriage was over. Maybe not so much by way of divorce decree but through the end of love, trust, and security.
It was, however, America's fascination with how these women can stay with these men that CBS brought forth a new drama, The Good Wife starring Chris Noth and Julianna Margulies; airing Tuesday nights at 9/8c.
It's an awesome show. One that I'm already addicted to as I love Margulies character and the strength she exhibits - not to mention some of the take-that lines she has!
In my personal opinion, this is one of the new dramas that will be around for many seasons!
If you listen closely, you'll hear a lot of judgment passed on these women: "I would drop him so fast it would make his head spin, " "There's no way I would stay with a man who cheated on me," "Is she that stupid?"
I always get a little irritated as such judgments being passed because I know very well that they are being said by those who have never walked a mile in cheated spouses shoes.
I have.
Many of you may not realize that Briian is actually my second husband. My first husband, whom I was married to for 8 years, was a cheater.
When I learned of his indiscretions, I had numerous people tell me to get rid of him then, to kick him to the curb, to divorce him and take everything he had.
I stayed married to him for another 6 years after his first affair (actually a double since he was seeing two at one time. As a matter of fact, it was girlfriend no. 1 that ratted out girlfriend no. 2 to me. Can you say "crazy"?).
So why would I stay with someone like that?
First, we had a child together. And suddenly I saw this little boy's world about to crumble, and I couldn't bear the pain that it would cause him.
Secondly, I was afraid. It's as plain as that. Once you have established a life with someone, it's scary to think about starting over alone.
Third, my pride and anger refused to allow another woman (or women, in my case) to win. No way, no how was she going to take my man. And I was willing to do whatever it took to make sure she didn't take him.
Yeah, that's one of those deals where you cut off your nose to spite your face.
And that is a driving force behind these "good wives." If I felt humiliated over the ordeal, as a nobody, can you imagine how magnified their humiliation was when your husband's affair is displayed on the cover of every newspaper and magazine and broadcast on news programs around the world?
I can. And I understand their motivation.
I also understand that, for the years they remain with their cheating husband, they will never trust him again. And, short of being Mother Teresa, they will not love him as they once did.
For all intents and purposes, when his affair was exposed publicly, the marriage was over. Maybe not so much by way of divorce decree but through the end of love, trust, and security.
It was, however, America's fascination with how these women can stay with these men that CBS brought forth a new drama, The Good Wife starring Chris Noth and Julianna Margulies; airing Tuesday nights at 9/8c.
It's an awesome show. One that I'm already addicted to as I love Margulies character and the strength she exhibits - not to mention some of the take-that lines she has!
In my personal opinion, this is one of the new dramas that will be around for many seasons!
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